I’m a trusting person – both in business and in my personal life. I’d ultimately like to believe that people are always being honest with me. Whether it’s in my personal life or in my business life, honesty creates friendship, honesty creates trust and honesty allows solutions to happen much faster. And while this may seem harsh, as soon as an individual lies to me, all trust is lost forever and that relationship is never the same.
Recently, I had someone lie to me and while it hurt me and hurt our relationship, it created confusion on my part on why that person felt the need to lie. The lie wasn’t big but you could immediately tell it was a lie. And no matter the size of the lie, it was a lie nonetheless and immediately I closed the book on that individual. Personally, I believe life is too short to waste on people that can’t be honest with you or themselves. My biggest concern, however, was in understanding the psychology of why a person would feel the need to lie. For instance, like I said, the lie wasn’t big but it was still a lie. It meant that I could no longer believe what this individual said. Based on that, I began to feel sorry for this individual that live in such a world where they feel lying is necessary. In my humble opinion, the truth will always come out eventually. So why lie?
According to an article written by Psychology Today, in which they interviewed Bella DePaulo, PH.D., we are lied to anywhere between 10 to 200 times per day! Per day!!! That means that the majority of people we are coming into contact each and every day may be lying to us to at least some degree.
Personally, I believe my ancestors helped create my last name and turn it into what it is for me today, which I carry around with me through my life and pass down to my children and so on. During my lifetime, it is my responsibility to carry my last name with me as though it is a badge of honor and to cherish that last name and to never tarnish it. That means, I have to look carefully at good and bad consequences and truly understand the scope of everything prior to it actually occurring. That also means that I intend on building a legacy I, my family and my friends can be proud of. Because of that, I do not lie. I don’t understand lying and the necessity of it. Frankly, I don’t want to understand it but I do want to steer clear from it. I’m understanding of my own truths that I can read people well and tell when someone is lying to me. And because of this, I tend to judge liars harshly. And while judgment may not be a good thing, it does allow for red flags to be raised and for me to steer clear of those individuals. Ultimately, it is my legacy I care about and I don’t want to get wrapped up in what I consider to be “high school rumor mills”. In both my business and personal life I speak to a lot of people. I like to say that I’m simply not organized enough or even smart enough to lie, LOL. The truth is, how would I keep up with lies I was telling people? To me, the simple fact is that you don’t keep up with lies. Somewhere down the line, a lie will catch up with you and that will become your legacy.
When people lie to you, it isn’t as simple as being called a “lie”; it’s that they simply don’t care about you nor do they care about the effects that lie will have on any given situation. Lie in the business world and you’re bound to self destruct. Lie in your home life and it’s bound to self destruct. Ultimately, we all have our faults and we all make our fair share of mistakes, which is perfectly fine. But when lies are involved, it effects more than just the liar. Me, personally, I don’t pretend to be a nice person. I am strict and I am loud and even sometimes obnoxious, but I’m always honest. I don’t care about popularity, being loved or even being liked. I always figure, if people don’t like me for me, they don’t have to be around me. I, do, however, always want to have respect for myself, others and my ancestors and to proudly carry my last name through my lifetime and leave that last name in good standing by leaving a legacy of honesty. I’d like to think my friends, my family and everyone I work with in the business world appreciate it. What will your legacy be?